Next Steps...


The McFam had a great time at home with Steve's family for Easter. We drove up first thing Saturday morning in order to both maximize our time with them and also try to discourage any driving hysteria from the little miss. (Happy to report that not a peep was heard on the way up to MA! The ride home is a bit different though - but that's fine!) Sadly, the BC Eagles lost their second NCAA Hockey Championship in as many years. I was glad that Steve was with another BC fan to watch the game and that we had multiple baby helpers so he could actually watch the whole thing from start to finish. =) I just wish the final score was different.

It was especially fun to dress Caroline up in her pretty little dress for Easter. She was a total cutie, albeit a bit fussy, but adorable while screaming and because they all love her so much no one seemed to care one bit - phew!!!

Word from the North is that she is welcome anytime - which we will totally capitalize on more and more now that she is getting older AND that summer is coming. Baby on the BEACH!!!

Bottle update

Battle Bottle rages on, but with great success. She has taken a bottle with minimal (compared to two weeks ago) fussing every single day for two weeks. I may have stepped her down a bit too much on Easter Sunday - doing 13 minutes of nursing and then the bottle. I think we will hover at about 15 for a couple of days before stepping it down again. Overall it is MUCH improved.

Planning next steps

She was pretty good yesterday - just eating a ton - and today has been a bit challenging, but I think that is mostly because of our morning. She slept from about 9:30 to 5:00 and then went right back down again until about 8:30. I jumped out of bed at 8 to get ready for the day and totally rushed her through her second meal to get her ready and out the door for our 10:30 appointment. Breakfast was sadly a juice box, some trail mix, and a chips ahoy 100 calorie pack... I know I know I know... but what's a mom to do???? (I have since completely stuffed my face on Easter leftovers that hit the spot!)

Our 10:30 appointment was at a local preschool/day care.

Day care... Day care... Day care....

No matter how many times I type it, it doesn't get any easier to admit that we are planning for this next step.

We really liked this day care. It is clean, the kids seemed very well cared for and the price is very reasonable. Instead of having an infant classroom, they use an in home day care model with an infant/toddler mixed classroom, which at first glance makes you think that the infants are getting a bum deal, but after discussion and consideration really makes more sense. The What to Expect Book says that the ideal teacher to baby ratio is 1-3 and their ratio is 1-4. They try to minimize the number of infants in the rooms so that if a tiny little one is upset the teachers actually can get to them to address whatever seems to be bothering them. If there were 8 infants there would be 6 babies at any one time left with no option than to scream bloody murder...

I had no idea how much was required to have a child in day care. This particular center requires that you bring your own pack n play so that the child can have their own space. $$$ signs flew through my head as she started giving us the list of things we would need to bring in for her, but then she was also making a really great point that by having her own space, no other child would ever use it and we will have control over that special space. I had not considered the bottles we would be required to bring on a daily basis (your kid eats 6 times- bring SIX bottles). Packing her up each day is going to be insane, but only at first. They will send home things to be cleaned as needed and we will just keep sending in new things. Each child has their own everything - great for keeping the germies at bay...

I think that we will 99% choose this day care for Caroline. The teachers seemed nice and knowledgeable. We watched one infant/toddler class do baby yoga before their lunch and the director shared that this same classroom uses sign language. The lesson plans appear to address many areas of development and are planned in a way that children of all ages/abilities will be able to participate in the same general lesson. Did I not to mention that it is one exit from Steve's office and potentially in the same office park as one of the jobs I am applying to?

So why if it seems so perfect am I sick over it? There is not a person on the planet that I could leave her with without feeling this sad feeling in my belly. Steve is behind any decision I make about work and I really do want to get back in the game part-time. I know how good it will be for her and I to have a break from one another, but as I sat in Steve's parking lot feeding her before our ride home I was overcome by sadness that this special time for her and I will be coming to an end. I feel INCREDIBLY fortunate to have the luxury of getting the best of both worlds with a part-time schedule, but there is just a sadness in it all. I know that every mother must feel this way and I know that it will get easier as time goes on. I also know that it will be harder for us than for her.

Steve looked at me stroking her head and staring at her in the car and reminded me that he leaves her every single day to go to work. I reminded him that he is leaving her at home with me.

Lucky for us, we are doing this early as they won't have an opening for her until June 25th. That leaves over two more months of naps, giggles, walks, and "firsts." It still feels like that day is looming over my head, but I truly do feel better now that we have laid eyes on the place. I am sure that will help me cope...

Now to find a job... I have an interview on Friday...

Enjoy all the new photos courtesy of Auntie C and Kiki Dee.


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