Have you been following Aimee’s Project Say over on Rylan’s blog? It all started with John Mayer and his song Say. After reading her entries about wanting to reach out to the people in her past that she apparently has a lot to say to, I could only think about her project when I heard the song. Later I began thinking about the people in my own life I would campaign all my “sayness” to. I had a few people in mind; one I wanted to apologize to, one who wronged me so so long ago that I never even think about it anymore, and one whose sudden departure from my life perplexes me to this day. Aimee shared that she had written her “Say letters,” but hadn’t yet been able to actually send them off into the universe. I am sharing this to inspire you Aimee, my own “Say” inspiration, to SEND THEM…

I sent my first letter to a friend from graduate school, the details of what happened are not important, but we stopped being friends suddenly, heart wrenchingly. We didn’t speak again from that moment nearly four years ago (wow!) until I sent off my letter… and she wrote back, and I wrote back to her. I am still waiting for her to write back, but I am not sure if she will and really, she might not. I am ok with that. It wasn’t about rehashing, it wasn’t about finding answers, it was communicating to her that I never understood what happened and that it was never my intention to end our relationship. It was about letting her know that I have truly forgiven and forgotten and wished her well in her life, her marriage, her work. My long ago friend is expecting her first baby, a daughter, in August. The sense of peace I feel in knowing that she is well, that she is about to be a mother, that there is no more unresolved tension and sadness, well it is palpable.

My constant advisor Tasha asked me how it felt.

“I know! I don't know where we go if anywhere and I didn't write to her to restart our relationship... This was more of a hey, remember that thing, well, let's just move past it - not on with life because we clearly did that, but past it seems different doesn't it?

I am feeling great about it! There is such an amazing sense of freedom, not closure. Closure was sort of what we had before and how can you ever really truly close the door on friendship? You can't! So yeah, I'm feeling free of all that leftover toxic crap, sort of like I just had on a really amazing pore refining mask for the last 4 years that sort of gets dry and prevents you from opening your mouth or blinking and that these letters just rinsed it all off and WOW my pores feel awesome --- how's that?"

Aimee, send them… It feels AMAZING!


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