and then there was sleep

Morning brings some perspective, but also heightened confusion. It’s obviously a contact lens free day for me today and my overall appearance is a bit disheveled… thrown together hastily. Caroline slept until about 7:15 after she finally conked out just after 4am. My last trip into her bedroom involved me saying, “Lay down,” covering her with her blanket, and rubbing her back for a millisecond. Of course, while I watched her back rise and fall with the sure signs of a content sleep over the monitor, my own eyes would not stay closed and I thought I was done for. I lulled the cat to my side and pressed my ear into her neck where I could hear her happy to be invited purr which did help get me sleepy until my mind drifted to the ever growing list of things I want to do, have to do, or need to organize for our trip to the Cape this weekend with my family.

Just when we think we have this gig mastered or at least achieved some predictable patterns…

I am up in the air about the pediatrician. She is snuffly, coughing, teething. She was not inconsolable or even interested in being held. The one time I did pick her up to calm her after her initial wake up call resulted in her pointing to her bed and squirming from my arms. She wanted to go to bed. She just didn’t want me to leave.

Where did this sudden Mommy attachment come from? On one hand this does show me that together we have developed a healthy Mommy –baby attachment. My googling last night helped me find some books I would like to read with her (The Goodbye Book - Judith Voirst, The Kissing Hand – Audrey Penn) and it did make me feel better to read that most babies/toddlers experience at least one period of separation anxiety as part of normal development. So Caroline’s new anxiety is within the range of normal, occurring during the second half of her second year and supposedly will likely drop off as her language skills improve. We’ll just have to ride this one out… and get to bed a lot earlier.

I neglected my weekend recap with all these goings on.

As I am sure you are ALL aware, the Boston College first home football game was this past Saturday and if you think there was anywhere else in the world that this McFamily would be you are clinically insane. The forecast looked dreary – thanks to Hanna – leaving me wondering if Caroline and I would even venture out the front door. In monsoon conditions we would be staying at Steve’s parents watching Nemo on repeat. In drippy annoyingly sprinkling conditions we would attend the tailgate and skirt towards drier ground back at the McFam homestead for the game. The weather report seemed to change continuously and ultimately landed on hot, humid, and grey. We actually had hot, humid and blazing sun. Too hot for Caroline, but she did make it through a quarter and a half in her seat, amusing herself putting on and taking off a water bottle top while clapping along with the crowd. We spent the majority of our time in the attached Conte Forum, where we met up with Kiki (and Auntie C for a short time). Caroline refused all snacks, water, and even ice cream. We went back to the stands just in time to watch the Eagles last ditch effort to recover… they didn’t. It was a bit of a long night after Caroline took a much needed and deserved nap in the car on the way home, but she made it through her second home opener with flying colors. She’s a trouper that Caroline.

The highlight/lowlight of the day was seeing Baldwin the Eagles mascot. We wanted to capture a family photo with him, but as soon as he looked at Caroline it was all over. Her face changed and she sobbed, terrified (!) into her Daddy’s shoulder. We saw him again in the stadium as we made our way to Conte and again, the tears and FEAR. I think any pipe dream of taking her to Disney anytime soon is gone.


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