The Weight

Are we all sick of hearing about the woeful diaper rash/yeast infection yet??? Yes??
It is just too bad for you then that it is pretty much all that is happening at our house right now. Trust me, I wish I had other more exciting and less icky things to report on.

The rash continues. She came home from school last night with a dirty dipe which I could smell almost as soon as I switched the Sirius from pause to play. The rash had neither gotten better nor gotten worse in the time she was at school. I noted several changes on her sheet and got a report that she was “less squirmy than usual,” almost as if she somehow understands the magnitude of her sad situation. It was cloth diapers again last night from then to bed, we did a shower rinse off and hair dryer combo at one point because the wiping… it sucks. I had hopes of being greeted by a clearing up rash this morning, but alas, the rash remains much as we last saw it at 8pm on Tuesday.

The house feels different too. I think it is a combination of being away from it for so long and the weight that this rash seems to be placing on us all. I like my Mondays to organize and prepare for the week ahead and even with 4 bags of groceries from Roche Bros, I still felt ill prepared on Monday night. There is a crock pot roast cooking at home as I type this, but I still feel that way. Yes, this is a rash. Yes, it will go away. Yes, there are many other more terrible things that could be happening. I realize this of course, but it feels difficult to carry the weight this situation has placed on all of us. Every diaper change brings tears (from both of us) and the time between finds me once again at google or in front of the linen closet contemplating remedies. I have a new plan to put that ol’ nursing cream to good use. That is my plan of attack for tonight. Even my Triple Paste doesn’t seem to be making a dent in this one. Part of me is hopeful that it we seem to have the rash at a standstill; neither getting better nor getting worse. Perhaps it needs time to work its way through and if our team can maintain this level of vigilance the rash will retreat. I know from experience that even then we need to maintain this level of changing and cream smearing. In a time so special, I just want my little Santa lover to be able to enjoy this season. I think that is the hardest part of the weight to carry.

Photos of Day 2 Advent Calendars promised later – for now a brief description will have to do. Steve selected the second bag contents and did he ever select a doozy!!! A pop-up “Flight of Santa” book found in the dollar bin at Target. It was a huge hit and after she was done flipping through pages she spent a good five minutes trying to peek through the doorway of a pop-up house on page 4. So silly. So sweet. I love her.


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