to confer or not to confer?

I announced to Steve that “I think I might want to maybe go to BlogHer.” I said this softly. I had been pondering it for some time, but hadn’t wanted to begin his unstoppable launch sequence to immediately check flights at three different airports. I blog. He searches for flights.

I checked out the agenda. The more I have been thinking about it, the more I really want to go. I wish I could take a bloggy friend with me as a bunkmate to assist me in not feeling so alone among a sea of virtual (HAR!) strangers. I hate that junior high “I don’t fit in and everyone already seems to know one another feeling.” I gchatted auntie C and totally absconded her “did you do a bouquet toss?” convo to see what she thought. Some bridesmaid I am huh?! When I told her that I was nervous to go alone and that Steve had offered to accompany me and keep himself busy for the day, she reminded me that the whole point of this conference is for me to go alone. A.L.O.N.E.

I am 80% convinced I should go and do this for myself.

It has been previously noted how wonderful I am at making or rather NOT making decisions. I go round and round in my head until it is ready to explode, throw my hands in the air & pretend that there was never a decision to be made. It’s true.

I tossed out the idea to do something kid friendly together as a family this weekend and so began the web crawling under the google search “things to do with kids in…..” When I toss out ideas they almost always begin with NYC. Being as close as we are to the city, I feel it is vastly underutilized. Within five minutes NYC is vetoed. Too expensive to get in. Too expensive while we are there. We need a stroller. So long American Museum of Natural History! We’ll see you in the Spring. Or Summer. Then I toss out the usual; the aquarium, the children’s museum? When your child still requires a nap midday, you are forced to consider spending upwards of $30 on admissions for a maximum of three hours of fun. $10 an hour. The same as having a sitter….hmmmm. Interesting. Inevitably, I stop talking about it because if I kept the discussion going I might actually make a decision. So I push it off on Steve with a “what do you think?”

After nearly 8 years of non-committal plan making (and he is a serious planner) he is finally making some headway and forcing me to secure plans. We chose the Children’s Museum. It’s small enough that we can see it all and large enough to keep her entertained. What toddler can really hold their attention on anything for more than three hours anyway? There is a toddler area for her to just run and climb and burn off energy. I envision us spending at least half the time in the water area, but this time I will be prepared with a spare pair of pants.

I even shocked myself by looking for museum passes available at local libraries (Buy 1 admission Get 1 free). Of course they are checked out right now, it’s school vacation week after all, but I will be sure to do this in the future when planning trips to the local Zoo (Free Family Admission!).!

Our plan is to nap her, blast out the door, and get in as much time at the museum as humanly possible. I even made reservations for dinner down that way. LOOK AT ME – decision-making, committing, and following through all over the place.

So – all that – to explain the 20% of me that cannot decide if I want to, should, or am able to go to BlogHer. Since I am on such a decision-making kick, I am going to nail this one to the wall before the early bird rate expires at the end of the month. WHY OH WHY must you be the shortest month February??? I am missing out on entire DAYS of procrastination??

The conference would be right up my alley; a nice mix of mommyblogging and general blogging sessions. I’d like to dip my toe into other areas and maybe find some inspiration. I really think I would regret not going to both days, even if it meant being away from Thursday to Sunday. So if I choose to attend, it will be for the whole conference. The real hang-ups are childcare and the combined "holy crap" cost of attendance ($200!! to attend, $$$ to get there, $$$ to stay three nights). I can look at some more budget friendly hotels and maybe I can come across a sweet deal of a flight, but is my little blogging hobby really REALLY worth all this cash??? Especially in a time when finances are so tight, jobs are uncertain, and we’ve been trying to cut back in all areas?


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