single-handedly taking on the law breakers

I come from a state where aggressive driving and absolutely ludicrous maneuvering is the standard for most drivers. Back in MA, I was perhaps the worst kind of driver to have on 1-93 or Route 128; the timid driver. I would often choose the slow lane going 50. If I did get gutsy and move over to the middle lane or the fast lane, I would plan my “exit from the highway strategy” well in advance. In the 6 months before we left Boston I put nearly 20,000 miles on my car for work and a good chunk of that time placed me squarely in what I still consider the danger zones of the Greater Boston area; the nefarious Newton Rotary, the Pike’s Brighton/Cambridge exit, the People’s Republic of Cambridge, and my most hated haunt Somerville. I had begged for the in car GPS when we purchased my car that fall, I had been willing to trade my soul for it, but at that time GPS was brandy new and therefore an investment in detailed town maps was my only option at navigating the confusing Somerville streets. I don’t think I was there once without getting lost trying to get back to the highway. I did learn how to drive with one eye on my map and one on the road, but I won’t go so far as to tell you that I was good at it. I got braver as time went on, I learned the landscape of greater Boston and Central MA; the map in my head clicking new streets into my mental map as I went. I became the Queen of the short cut.

When we moved to CT there was a whole new landscape to learn; new roads, new exits, new everything. I’ll spare you all the horrible the details of the incident with the man in Westport who screamed at me for an entire red light from his convertible because I had blocked his entrance into his dry cleaner. It was not my finest moment. It left me in tears crying “I want to go home!” I was pregnant at the time; emotional and hormonal, but this incident left me crying FOUL at CT drivers for quite some time… particularly those to the south.

So dear CT readers, while you think you are so much more proficient in your driving, not nearly as brazen and rude as a Masshole driver, let me ask you this… WHY oh WHY must you race through yellow and completely red lights? At each light I encounter I have become accustomed to waiting an extra three seconds at my green for the sure to fly by moron about to run the red. When we return home to MA and the light turns yellow I cannot stop myself from saying out loud to Steve, “we’re not in CT!!!” In fact, before our relocation Steve ran a YELLOW light and landed a hefty ticket. A YELLOW LIGHT CT! It doesn’t mean hurry up, it’s going to turn red! RED, yeah, it really does mean stop, not you still have three whole seconds.

I am single-handedly taking all these lawbreakers. The one thing from MA driving I took with me was my honk happy driving style. You should see the absolutely AGHAST looks you get when you use your horn down here. (HOW DARE YOU!?) In the last two days alone I have slammed on my horn and let it keep on honking its absolutely annoying honk for several cars turning ACROSS traffic running red lights. Seriously CT. Get it together! It is so utterly ANNOYING not to mention dangerous.

CT. You’re on notice.

PSA – over, back to our regularly scheduled Caroline.


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