The ultrasound tech asked us if we wanted to know. I hesitated. I gulped. I looked at Steve. My full bladder and I finally answered “yes.” She noted my hesitation and asked it we were absolutely sure. “Yes, we’re sure. We’ve got a two-year old to prepare and we want to know.” So off we went, examining bones and brain, watching that little heartbeat on the screen. There was lots of kicking and some complaining on Mac’s part. Caroline had been annoyed at the intrusiveness of the ultrasound wand too.

We sat dazzled, me a bit teary at times, Steve searching the scan for a sign of gender identification (admit it, you TOTALLY were). A whole body side view at the end of our scan revealed to us all we needed to know. The tech positioned the image just so, leaving it for us to see and interpret ourselves, giving us a knowing glance. Steve and I looked at each other and practically shouted from the rooftop, “It’s a boy!”

It’s a baby brother. It’s a constantly running, send my blood pressure through the roof daredevil. It’s a snuggly momma’s boy. It’s a future BC Eagles Superfan, class of 2032. It’s an eat me out of house and home teenage eating maching. It’s a protective despite being younger brother to watch over Caroline and disapprove of her many suitors. It’s a rabid Sox fan. It’s a truck and dinosaur loving little boy. It’s a son. It’s a gift. It’s an amazing blessing. It’s a boy!

Now if only I could focus on work and stop browsing online at all the baby boy end of season sales. The McFam is excited to add some blue to their life! Caroline, well, she’ll get there. So far, she hasn’t been very open to the idea of a baby brother and more recently the existence of a new baby at all. My little shopper is sure to love helping her mommy select a few baby boy things for her new sibling. The boy she will adore and protect fiercely. The baby she will beg me to hold and snuggle. The infant she will shh and soothe. The boy who will become her best friend.

With each knit and pearl, my heart knew that this sweater would not be ours. Everytime I pondered whether or not the kicking being in my belly might someday be enveloped by all this pink, I knew in my gut that it would not. This cotton candy pink sweater was always meant to end up in another baby girl’s closet, to be worn in the chilly fall air and not the bitter winds of winter. After I sew on some cutie buttons, this one is making its way north to the little angel it was always meant to keep warm and snuggly.
(to those who already got wind of the news, how CONFUSED were YOU??? Gotcha!)


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