light & heavy

There is lots weighing on my mind right now about daycare & change & coping and it all just feels like too much summarize here. I can’t leave you completely in the lurch though. Steve’s has just been noticing that Caroline’s been having a really hard time at drop-offs for the past month. While she used to go bounding into her classroom, confident, smiling, ready to take on the day – she now clings to him, cries, looks up at him with pleading doe eyes to please not make her endure another day. We thought it was just a phase because her caregivers always reported that she was fine a few minutes after Steve left, but that all started to change this week. We now get reports that she is “weepy” or “sad” and while they do say she is better in the afternoon after her nap or after a whooping good time on the playground (what kid wouldn’t be!?), no parent wants to hear that their once upon a time sunshiney little girl is now tearful throughout her day, at a place that was previously her own happy sanctuary. It just doesn’t sit well. There has been a lot of change at school, there is a lot of change happening at home, and we are working through how to best help her cope with that change. Lo, the world of suck that is this terrible feeling.

So there’s that.

But there is also this, which is a lot easier to write about and hilariously funny.

Allow me to expound upon our adventure’s with the toddler bedtime last night. We did the usual routine, which she now knows and sticks to like it is the only acceptable course of events pre bedtime. The nights have been cooler and she actually chose feetie pjs which she hasn’t worn at all since the June rainfest finally let up. Steve took her to bed, tucked her under a fresh warm blanket and sent her to dream land. Only dream land was actually far, far away in a land known as nearly 10PM.

We listened to her playing with her little crib friends, turning her music on and off, jumping up and down trampoline like. We both made separate efforts to calm her down and send her on her way to sweet dreams. At some point Steve went upstairs and checked on her again only to be heard on the monitor laughing like I haven’t heard him laugh in quite some time. It wasn’t his fake laugh or even his ok, that’s kind of funny laugh. It was like (insert iconic comedian of your choice here) was in her bedroom doing the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. I laughed at his laughter before I made it upstairs myself to discover what the secret to the Steve's belly laugh is. Turns out our Caroline had not only unzipped herself from her feetie pjs, but had completely removed them, right along with her diaper. He was greeted at her door by an image of her naked butt waving in the air. She was so proud of herself, lying there in her crib, NUDE. You couldn’t help but laugh, even though you KNEW it was wrong to. I mean WHAT gives kid? You spend nearly 2 hours up here and this is how you want to end the night?

We got her dressed, we snuggled her and she was out cold before 10, snuggled up to George.

That is the Caroline I want to think about when I am at work. That devious smile is the one I want to imagine, not the weeping sad face of my beautiful little girl.


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