the absence of all motivation

Some of us are still recovering from the last Boston College tailgate/game of the year this past Saturday. Special thank yous to the wonderful people who took on the clingy toddler holding duties for me throughout the morning, afternoon, and early evening. My back literally was incapable of snuggling the “hold me, hold me” little girl this time. Hard to imagine that this was the last game we’ll attend as a family of three. Hey look, it's Kiki and Papa - the Season Ticket Holders of the MONTH!


I was surprised on Monday morning to find a toddler who wanted to just sit and be as much as I did. She splayed herself across my lap while we read a book on the couch and I eventually just put my head back and ran my fingers through her curls for what felt like way too long. It took a monstrous level of motivation to get us up and out to the grocery store – but the promise of frozen turkey selection assistance seemed to help move things along a tiny bit. BigY handed out turkey coins earlier this month for 10.00 off a fresh or frozen turkey and when I told Steve his eyes pooled over with visions of gravy, mashed potatoes and dark meat. He’s keen on Thanksgiving. So I picked up what I hope is a doable size frozen bird for the freezer downstairs and scheduled a turkey dinner the weekend after Auntie C and Hokie’s wedding. YOU might be in Hawaii, but we’ll be eating turkey, assuming all goes well – I’ve never made a turkey before?

Caroline NEVER sleeps on days we have her at home. She gets some quiet time in her room and that seems to do the trick, but yesterday she asked to go to her bed to nap. I had to gently wake her after 90 minutes and she didn’t actually really wake up until she passed the two-hour mark. This spelled certain disaster for bedtime especially since the nap did not end until 3:30. I knew if I tried to nap myself that I would have been completely out and then utterly useless for the rest of the day, so I busied myself tidying, bleaching tiny onesies that seemed a bit yellow, stripping crib bedding, writing a list of things to do before we jet out for the holiday and showering. Please note the placement of my own cleanliness on my level of priorities; pathetic! Steve called just after my quick body cleanse and noted that I was out of breath, slurring my words even. Apparently getting yourself clean and fully dressed again takes a lot out of you when you are 31 weeks pregnant.

I wanted to sit, but sitting was just as uncomfortable as moving yesterday. Baby Mac had positioned himself in such a way that no matter what I did to try to find some relief, I just found myself sighing deeply. I had Steve touch what I can only describe as the “belly shelf” (the space between my chest and my belly) so he could feel the amazingly annoying position his son had gotten himself into and I think his bulging eyes said it all. I’ve clearly been fooling myself that I haven’t been all that pregnant because suddenly out of nowhere I am one big pregnancy complaint; my back, my feet, my hips, my lungs! Every time I open my mouth to whine, I think about how much we wanted this, how incredibly fortunate I am to even have these complaints. That seems to shut me up for awhile, until I have a terrible night of sleep. It’s never a good thing when your first statement of the morning is “that was the worst night’s sleep I have had in months and I’m going to try very hard not to take it out on you.” I’ve learned a few things in the past five years, but so has my husband. When he sensed a struggle to get the child out of her pajamas this morning he pulled himself from bed to help me dress her.

I didn’t laugh when my 31-week Babycenter email started with “having trouble sleeping?” Ok, I did, but it was of the sarcastic I hate you variety. This week Macadamia is about 3.5 pounds (four navel oranges!) and over 16 inches long. He is fattening up now as his body starts accumulating fat and he can turn his head from side to side now. Even after a tough night with little sleep and a sore lower back, I am reassured by his constant moving. Though it at times is all a bit too much (for the love of GOD, relax!), I smile each time he reminds me he is there.

and just because... some photos of Caroline from last week that made us laugh. She was playing catch with Steve and everytime he threw her the ball she was closing her eyes. So it wasn't so much a game of catch really, but it was silly fun. I can't help but laugh at the second shot. She is such a playful, vocal, smiling delight... who loves her Daddy.


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