limbo continues

Just one quick wake up call at 2AM last night. I walked into Caroline’s room to find her on her tummy, tush in the air, thumb in mouth, hacking up a lung. I got her into a more upright position resting her head on her pillow and climbed into bed next to her snuggling my girl close. She reached instinctively for my belly and I shh’d her gently, wiping her curls back from her face. Within a few moments she was already back asleep and I was on my way back to bed where I slept soundly until the alarm went off at 6:45. The silver lining of the middle of the night wake up cough call is that I am able to empty my pregnant bladder at 2AM and stay asleep through the dreaded 4-6AM ceiling stare.

Now that I have launched myself into “what can I do around here to get labor going,” it suddenly occurred to me that I am feeling ill-prepared for the labor portion of bringing this baby into the world. Having done this once before I am not finding myself as anxious about what it will the experience will be like; it isn’t entirely unknown. I never went into labor on my own last time, so there is a little question mark hanging over our heads on that front. We are a bit concerned about what might happen with a middle of the night emergency, but we’ve planned as best we possibly can and I feel confident that I could labor overnight at home with support from Steve… so long as my water does not break. So yeah, I guess I need to review some coping methods for early labor.

We are just in this odd place; confident that our estimated 6.25 pound son is strong enough to make his entrance, more ready than ever to finally meet him, and yet feeling completely overwhelmed still when we try to envision the change that his presence in our life will bring. There is an excited nervous energy in the house and even Caroline is feeling it. Each time we walk up or down the stairs she points to “baby brother’s room.” She enjoys detailing exactly how she plans on helping us with the new baby; feeding him with a bottle, holding him all by herself, keeping him warm in blankets, holding his hand when he is sad. No doubt there will be lots of jealousy, but I know Caroline is going to be an amazing big sister from the very start.


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