x months

Connor is on the brink of turning the page from my canned "he's x weeks" response  to "he's x months." MONTHS. If we still lived in CT I'd be headed back to work on Monday. This would be my last weekend home with Connor. It's difficult to imagine because as sturdy as he is, as strong as he is showing us he is going to be, he is still so small, so needy, such a mama's boy. I am keenly aware of the weight of his sweet baby head on my shoulder, the damp drooly spot he leaves on my shoulder when I rock him to sleep for a nap. I know that there might never be another tiny newborn on that shoulder and the knowledge of this makes me inhale his fuzzy baby head more deeply. Connor had earned a few nicknames - my favorites are Con Man, Mister Man, and The Man with the Plan. Caroline copies all of these along with the directions from the Wii; "step on!" "Measuring!" Connor is carving deep grooves into all of our hearts and to say we cannot imagine life without him is a huge understatement. He's such a sweet boy, inquisitive about the world around him especially his big sister.

I glance back at him in the rear view using that magical see your baby mirror and see him alert, watching his sister's every move in the seat beside him. He will look up to her, he will want to do everything she is doing and someday she will hate this, but for now - she eats it up. "He's looking at me!" "Oh, Connor, I love you."

He prefers your right shoulder and scrunches his little body up probably to make his tummy more comfortable. The reflux management continues with him still sleeping in his bucket seat, but he's in that bucket IN his crib and he does that for most of his naps too, so I feel like I'm winning that battle. He's almost a hip baby now, but he continues to stretch his arm out straight, grasping your arm tightly, even in sleep.

For me, I've found that old patterns die hard. The getting up once, twice or three times overnight still stinks - but I have gotten back into the swing of sleep deprivation so much more easily than the first time around - thanks to some help in the mornings from the other adults in the house. Connor often falls asleep for a short period of time with me in bed on the Boppy before I wrap him back into the burrito blanket he is quickly outgrowing and ship him back to his bed. During the time between his midnight meal and his going back to sleep I distract myself trying to read the clock from the bed sans glasses. I think I might be actually making my eyes stronger because I swear to you, I can ALMOST see the time now.

We're heading to CT tomorrow to check on what Steve has begun referring to as our "vacation home."


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