sleep, elusive sleep

I woke up this morning for the day around 6am, with a gassy baby squirming in my tired arms. I took a nap yesterday afternoon at 5pm and then went to bed for the day before 6:30, before dinner, before Kiki's amazing smelled so good chicken lasagna dinner. I fed Connor, plucked my contacts out of my eyes, rinsed my face with cold water and fell into bed. My head pounded to the point of nausea and I lay there wondering if this was just exhaustion or if it was something more because this just could not be normal. Then again, it isn't normal so to speak for a 5 month old to wake up three times a night to snack and it is even more irregular I am sure for him to have nights that have you prancing to his room, binky in hand, every hour. That's right. I said binky. Connor would NEVER take one before and recently we discovered that not only would he take it, but it calmed him and he could magically keep it in his mouth now. So we've embraced the binky for sad moments, for helping get to sleep, and I really don't want to hear anything about it - read - I am a desperate woman. a desperate and exhausted woman.

You cannot do this on your own. Without the support from Steve and the fam I could not have gotten those hours of sleep in before he woke up at 11 to eat again. I need to prioritize my sleep because this is the second week I have had one of these "I am so exhausted I cannot function" headaches and they just need to go away. It's a hard choice because I don't want to give up the two hours I have with Steve at night once the kids are down, even if we are just watching tv. I just HAVE to though because these rough nights might not be going anywhere anytime soon.

Connor, please get it together. There is nothing in this world besides you or your sister that could get me up in a flash in the middle of the night, but haven't you heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder?


  1. EMBRACE the Binky. For realz. My kid isn't even two and going on the potty. She eats plenty of fruits and veggies - mostly organic stuff. Doesn't like chocolate. Rarely touches French Fries. All of those great things? She can take that freakin Binky to college for all I care!! It's her "thing" and I'm not about to get in her face about it.

    I hope it gets better. I know that eventually it WILL get better, but I hope it gets better for you soon. I know right now it looks like All! Doom! Nothing! But! Doom!, but I swear, it'll get better.


  2. Thanks Al. It W.I.L.L get better! and thanks for the Binky reassurance. I needed that.

  3. Been there. I feel like Gary and I didn't sit down together after bedtime for the girls for almost 6 months. It will get better. And the binky...whatever you need to do.