breaking the cycle

We are once again in the grip of the carseat trap. When Connor first started his Zantac we placed him gently in his carseat for bed. I diligently alternated a rolled up pilfered hospital issue swaddle blanket behind his shoulders to avoid any head flattening. It wasn't ideal, but it allowed us all to sleep in increments of time greater than say 15 minutes which is where we were. His age was still measured in weeks. His tiny body still slumpy in the seat. As he started to overcome the reflux, or more likely as he reached a proper dosage, we switched him from the carseat to a Moses basket propped up on a thick folded blanket and a crib wedge. Last month it became obvious that he was outgrowing that basket and I panicked. I full on panicked because HOW WOULD HE SLEEP WITHOUT IT??? I removed the basket set-up piecemeal and finally settled him into sleeping with just the wedge swaddled. Since we took away his beloved swaddle he has actually once again been sleeping a few hours (or a smidge more) at a whack. The cost of this was his sweet face which he destroys with nails I dutifully file each day.

Over the last few weeks the reflux returned and he no longer could tolerate sleeping on his back. We brought back the carseat on Thursday night and he slept just like he had been. I was fine with it because "whatever lets everyone rest," but it is clear that in just a few weeks time he will need to sleep on his back all day long and we need to ditch the carseat sleeping stat.

Monday was such an amazing sleep day that I had to go and RUIN it. Yesterday with Prilosec onboard, a drug he likes so much he swallows and gags it all back up, was my first try at carseat free sleeping. It was such an epic FAIL that I immediately ran for the car seat and wouldn't you know it, he slept. I kept trying him without it, but at a certain point you throw in the towel. Today I tried again. Morning nap was a joke, he finally got down and woke up less than 10 minutes later. He is currently down with us watching "the meatball movie" in a pack n play seat free and I am literally holding my breath, clicking the keyboard keys as lightly as possible.

Have we created a sleep situation we cannot rectify? What do other reflux moms do to get their older babies sleeping in a more normal way? I want to be able to put him down drowsy and help him learn to soothe himself to sleep, but with all the reflux issues that's been near impossible. Is this even something I should be trying to achieve or should I just accept that he requires a bit more?


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