screech

My handsome boy. My sweet and sometimes odd little man. Though I have known you your entire lifetime Connor, I feel like I am still just getting to know you. We have entered the phase of your life where you have a specific expression or action for just about everything.

The wide eyed stare from the bouncer that shouts – “SMILE AT ME!” and if the grown-up complies their reward is the widest sunshiney grin that starts in your eyes and takes over your entire beautiful face.

The pouty lip and sudden squawk that signals an imminent break down.

The fisted eye rub and nose nuzzle to warn me you are getting sleepy.

The way you literally wrap your arms around my neck and burrow your head into my shoulder when you are such a happy boy almost to say, “yay, you! I love you!”

Your eyebrows! With your Dad and I contributing equal parts DNA I’d say you could have en entire conversation with your eyebrows. We’re both pretty expressive eyebrowers.

The odd little maneuver you do with your thumb joint that is just part of quirky little you that reminds me you are your own little person because Caroline never did that weird thing when she was a baby.

The way you focus on a new object or sound and explore it with such gusto that I feel like the world is not enough for your itch to discover.

Your jumping. You and that doorway jumper are as close to friends as a boy and an inanimate object can be. Your sister never really cared for it, but you would jump all day if you had an attention span greater than a goldfish.

The noises. Let’s talk about the noises because you are shouting up a storm, discovering new consonants and practicing them loudly. You shriek in happiness and joy and howl in despair and sorrow. While I much prefer you happy, there’s a feisty air to even your saddest cry that reminds me you will someday be strong enough and big enough to fend for yourself.

Time is flying by. A year ago this week we told the world you were coming and here you are; jumping, cooing, smiling, stealing the heart of everyone who meets you.

If all goes well, you’ll celebrate your first holiday season in your new home. A home that will be filled to overflowing with you and your sister’s laughter, good memories, and a metric ton of home baked goods stirred and sampled by you both. Sure, your Dad and I want to move to a new address. Sure, Kiki and Papa would like some of the quiet solitude back in their day to day. More than any other reason, I want this new address for you and Caro. I want you to have a place of your own, a room to destroy, a garage to store your someday matching Coupes (cuz I can’t see your sister sharing hers right now, at least not willingly), a place where we can all beg and plead your father to have a fire and make smores and have cheesy family game night and eat pizza on Friday nights. A place where your father and I can go to bed, but not fall asleep waiting to hear your footsteps creak up the stairs. A place where you can bring your own family back to have dinner with us someday. A place you and Caro deserve because you are good kids, amazing kids, kids that we love more than anything else in the whole world – more than ourselves and as much as each other. I’m crossing my fingers for it Connor and if I could teach you to do it with me I would. Until then, keep screeching, it’s an awesome distraction.

4 comments:

  1. First of all, beautiful post! Second of all...I was confused! I thought you had an offer put on your old house in CT. But if I understand correctly, you've put an offer on a house in MA. CONGRATS! Can't wait to hear if you get it!

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  2. HA!Kristen, reading it back it does read that way. No. We did have an offer on the house in CT and it makes me dream for the house we will have up here. So you had it right the first time.

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  3. Not a day has passed since you told me about the O.F.F.E.R that I haven't prayed for you guys. You need this and you deserve it! Can't wait to hug you this weekend.

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  4. So sweet, so much more than a simple 'offer' - I'll teach Anna to cross her fingers for you!

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