All that positivity went to hell last night. I've been trying to keep my chin up. Keep smiling. Get through it. I had not cried one single tear and then when I went to bed after fighting with Connor to sleep for 20 minutes buckets and buckets of tears fell from my eyes. I miss them. I like this new job. I'm overwhelmed with mom guilt and work guilt and feeling completely out of my league. I can't sit down until everything is clean and the lunches and bags are ready to roll. I can't even make dinner because I'm not walking in the door until 6 after dropping the kids at 7:30. I chose this. I have to live with this. This will enable us to do so much more for the kids but it sucks. It just flat out sucks and I'm not going to prpetend it doesn't. It doesn't help that I can barely open my eyes after being awake often last night by the world's worst sleeper. I don't get the benefit of his smiling face during the day anymore to help me cope with the grunting coughing wake ups and the 5:30 wake up call was pretty much the end of my patience. It's got to get better, but I'd like to know when.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Kerri! You're an AMAZING Mom! And nothing will change that!