With the help our both sets of parents we successfully packed that POD to the brim with all the furniture and odds and ends on Saturday and said goodbye to our previous life. The echoes in the emptying rooms started on Friday and got louder and louder as the day wore on Saturday, until all I heard were echoes. Echoes of a baby's cry, laughter, BC cheers, swearing at Jillian Michaels, the pitter patter of tiny feet, a cat jumping down from the window ledge to the floor below.  I tried not to linger too long in the completely empty house. We looked around from the bottom landing of the stairway while I fed Connor one last meal in CT. We shook our heads remembering how things had been when we first moved in, how far the house has come, how lucky these new people are to be moving into such a great little house. For all the bitterness we've felt, for all the times we've wished it gone, I suddenly felt a sort an odd sense of unfairness that we had to leave it behind.

It was important to me that the kids be present for this milestone in our family's story. It would have been FAR easier to have them far away, but that last sleep in her first big girl room was so important for Caroline to understand and I honestly think she will remember it. I want her to remember it. I was able to sit like total trash on the front lawn on the discarded couch and tell Connor that he had lived here and that though he wouldn't have any memories of it himself, I would. I will remember that night, on that blue couch, listening to the noise of the evening sweep in around us. My son and I, in CT.

We're tired. We're technically homeless. We've been planning the move for so long that we don't know what to do with ourselves now that it is done... oh wait, stress about work and daycare. That didn't take too long. We're hoping the close goes as planned and we have no reason to suspect it won't. It's a long road behind and a long road ahead and we are carefully trying to peek under that next page to see what this world has in store for us.


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