Time to Study

I weaseled my way out of work today and felt guilty GUILTY G.U.I.L.T.Y. I made my way up to the other side of 95 and as I drove I thought hard about what I was doing. Did I really just leave my job early for a "go see" at another job? Had I lost my damn mind? I tried to keep positive. I pushed away thoughts of "it won't be enough money," "it won't be enough hours," and "it won't matter anyway, I don't have my license."

I walked in right on time and started talking hospice again. I started remembering WHY I got into this sick profession in the first place. I easily came up with examples of working with families, supporting patients, and making a difference. A real difference. We hashed out hours. I handed off my reference information. We even talked cashola. I was brazen.  

I need to take the gosh darn social work exam. I've put the study guide on hold at the library. I have to send in my paperwork to get approval to set my exam date. She's going to get back to me on salary. The territory I would be responsible for would be right in my backyard. I would be I-N-S-A-N-E to not go for it. The way we left it: they won't jump on anyone else for the position and I have to keep in very close touch about the status of my license.

Her parting question: "What do you want to bring to your patients and their families?"

My answer came without a second of hesitation: "Hope. Hope doesn't have to be a cure or everlasting life. Hope comes in all forms and I would like to be the one to open the door to hope."

I can't bring much of that in my current position, but I do have hope that I can work this all out - one way or another.

2 comments:

  1. That sounds awesome and perfect in so many ways Kerri! I hope it works out! I have a study guide that I made for myself when I took the Clinical exam (is that the one you're taking?). Let me know if you want me to send a copy of it your way. Good luck!

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  2. Kerri- Beautiful post. I worked for Aseracare Hospice in Wellesley a few years ago & still keep in touch with a couple of the families. Incredible experience. Did you work Hospice in CT?

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