"You're an MSW?"

cue red embarrassing hot cheeks.

Each and every time it comes out at the new workplace that I have my MSW this is precisely the reaction I get. A colleague proudly stood next to the person training me last week, put her arm over her shoulder, and announced to me that so and so had her Bachelor's in Psychology. My reply was, "me too! and my Master's in Social Work from BC." The reaction, stunned silence.

I'm not usually one to toot my own horn and I am the last one to be snobby about having an advanced degree, but early indications reveal that I am the most highly educated person in my little cohort. When the social workers in my department learn that I am one of them in disguise they all flip the heck out. It's disturbing in a way to me and while I sit here searching for a reason to leave this job in the dust and never ever look back, my degree lights up behind me like a neon sign in the darkness. I'm no better than anyone else in my position, in fact, I am the least experienced in the role, the low man, but I can't help but feel this isn't panning out --- quite yet --- or not at all.

I'm adjusting. I'm adapting. I'm so busy most days I could cry. Yesterday I felt so overwhelmed with my work load that I had no answer for my colleagues' "what can we do to help?" THAT is overwhelmed. Today, I got ahead. I plowed through my work. I organized. I reorganized. I checked and double checked. I documented. I documented. I documented. Mondays will suck. Fridays will make me weep. The biggest issue I am dealing with now is that I am supposed to be working with patients and families. I'm not. I'm taking direction from my team members. I'm pushing paper.

I am sitting here chatting with Steve while I write this and I just nailed it: I left the perfect job behind to move to CT and I left the perfect situation to move home.

I have an interview on Thursday afternoon. It's for a 24 hour position that I've already held once before. I'm feeling conflicted about sticking it out, working through all of this, and throwing in the towel. I'm not a quitter, but this is a. not what I thought it was going to be b. one heck of a commute c. maybe not the right thing to justify being away from my kids for 11 hours a day.

1 comment:

  1. Your two paragraphs?? Welcome to my world.

    I'd say to trust your gut on the employment situation. If it's not a good fit, it's not a good fit. Period.