sweet

A pre-dawn wake up call from the littlest one made for groggy beginnings. We somehow convinced both kids to stay in bed with us until almost 6:30 and then it was a flurry of bottle prep and cold pop tart eating in front of the end of Imagination Movers. With Connor fed I elected myself the breakfast fetcher, tossed on some yoga pants, a sweatshirt, pulled my hair back into a lackluster pony and hit the road. I went back roads toward Dunkies and instead pulled into the charming bagel shop, ordered up two egg sandwiches and two hot drinks. The place was bustling at 7:15. Fathers and husbands balancing bags of bagels with coffee carriers. A little family with kids still in pjs, loveys in hand, pranced in. The were sweet, they were happy, they looked just like us. I did my own balancing act at the car door, looking around as I got in, wondering if this was really home, if this was really my life. All those months of living in the same town and it has never felt quite like this, because this was permanent, this was real. That little yuppie lilly white family just like us... yeah, screw diversity. Being here never felt so right. I meandered on my way, on my quest to find the quicker back way, wondering these things aloud and in my head, is this really my life? I slowed for a turkey to cross the road and then watched a deer bound across the road ahead, scanning the brush for it's partner. A deer is never alone is it? I slowed to crawl as I passed by her and her friend, they watched me quivering, unsure, and I smiled at their pure white tails as they gazelle leaped away toward some other backyard and hopefully out of harms way. I turned into our neighborhood just a stone's throw from the deer crossing, passed by the houses of the new neighbors' bells we'll ring tonight and pulled into our driveway - our never felt so right home.


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