it won't break us

It's been a week. Today I actually considered pushing my chair back from the computer and walking away forever. No goodbye, no see ya, just walking away, getting my coat, badging out and throwing the badge in the garbage on my way out the door. As the day wore on it became more and more apparent that this job was so NOT right and I am anxiously awaiting the new job on the horizon. I start on the 15th. We finally managed to get mail today, thanks to Kiki for getting to the post office to help figure the mess out. That's what happens when a senior and a junior share a house for 7 months. In that mail was a package with new employee hire information - detailing lots of things, some good - three weeks vacation and cell phone reimbursement, some ehh - one major and one minor holiday per year and one weekend per month. I'll take it. I'll take the freedom, the flexibility, the amazing privilege of being with families during a truly challenging time. I'm back in hospice. I'm going to be in two weeks of orirentation. By Christmas I'll be flexing my social work muscles. I'll be up to speed. I'll have figured out the documentation system. I'll have it down. Best Christmas present.

Tomorrow Steve and I are hitting the road to shop for lots of things for the house; toilet guts, lightbulbs, a twin blanket, rugs, living room furniture. You would think that the prospect of spending money would have me giddy because let's face it, I don't always have the full support of my partner in the spending department. Instead, I'm feeling a little bit of dread - so much money, such a big decision, and let's not forget that we don't exactly agree on things like this. We'll get there and I know it will be wonderful, but our styles and shopping styles are so very different. It will be good to reconnect with Steve. No kids for a few hours, what will we talk about? Probably the kids. I'm hopeful we can push past some of the tough stuff that's been happening the last few weeks. It's been a period of transition and it's been stressful on us as a couple, pushing us past our limits, straining the balance. A morning with a planned itinerary and a hit list of items to find is just what we need to regain some of the stuff we lost the last few weeks. It's exciting to get this place settled, but I know we will all be better when things have a place and the place feels more like home with less echo and more warmth.

I'm hoping to do a McCasa post this weekend too. You'll get your first glimpse of how we've been living, how far we've come and how far we have to go. It's exciting and truthfully, if a non-sleeping ball of sweet baby goodness did not break us, selecting a savings account friendly sofa certainly won't.


  1. Ahhhhh Hospice-they have my heart....and any donations I ever make go to them! Good luck- they are so lucky to have you

  2. We lived with my in-laws in their house, that we bought from them, for roughly 3 months. It was hellish because my mother-in-law lived in that house (BUILT it as a matter of fact) for 30 years. And then had to hand it over to me. More or less over night. AND I was pregnant with a girl (honestly, the hormones made my just this side of psychotic) and working a high stress job. And couldn't nest because we were sleeping in the guest room.

    And then, they moved out and into their house and our mail was irretrievably f*cked up. And my husband and his dad don't share anything more than a last name. All the mail for us was immediately forwarded to their house. And we still get random mailings for them here. And they get random junk mail for us at their house. That was 5 years ago.

    Good luck with the shopping! :)