the past four nights

In summation, they could go like this.

The one
...when Steve almost tossed his own cookies after being completely covered in vomit.
... where we thought we were out of the woods, but "taking the day off from school - just in case." fools
... that it all.started.over.again.
and last night,
... that between BC's emotional loss and Connor's restlessness seemed completely neverending .

Connor upchucked his bottle again this morning, in the highchair, immediately after downing it. I was mid hair dry. Work clothes halfway on. Makeup part way done. The hair got pulled back. The jeans went on. The baby got packed up and taken to the pediatrician's morning sick hour. We were the last sick hour patient they saw. I can't blame them, a kid with the stomach bug? Judging by what I have seen and read lately, we are just one of countless families coping with this ridiculous won't quit bug, so yeah, I wasn't surprised that we waited a bit longer than I would have liked to. The nurse was taken aback when I told her we had been doing this since Wednesday night. Wedenesday night. Good God, ENOUGH.

The new plan is to "eat through it." Offering small and frequent mini meals. He has eaten half a dozen small pieces of bread, a small bottle of half water and half pedialyte which I am supposed to start decreasing back to plain water, half a Mott's Tots. The kids hasn't tasted apple juice until this sickness, but now I'm all Juice? "SURE!" Danimals Drinkable Yogurt "YOU GOT IT!"

My poor bub.

Steve has been just... well... superb. He is typically amazing and I don't tell him that enough. I know often in the day to day I tend to dwell on not switching the laundry over or putting something where it doesn't belong or a myriad of other little nit picky NOTHINGS, but Steve held it together this weekend when I was completely out of commission barely holding my own stomach down.

This morning made me say something I hadn't expected to say, "Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love what I am doing, but weeks like this make me want to work part time again. If I just had more time..." Truth be told, it hasn't been a good month and I have only been working at this new job for two. I have tremendous flexibility that enabled me to finagle a quicker than average day on Friday with minimal fires to put out and got me headed home by 2pm and to Kiki's with two fever reducers, two flavors of pedialyte, a new jug of Maalox, and a pumpkin muffie by 3:15. That just wouldn't have been possible at the hospital or any other full time job I'd venture to guess. This morning I phoned my supervisor and left her a message that Connor was still sick, that I had to be the mom today, that I was going to try to make a few calls, but that I couldn't commit to anything more than getting him better. She hasn't bothered me. I got what I pray to God is the last load of pukey laundry into our amazing wonderful machine. I gathered the final lingering pieces of Christmas together and put them "to sleep" under the stairs. I put together a crockpot lazy lasagna. I checked my work voicemail and deleted it all.

I don't think I NEED a part time job. I think what I have going is working because I can't think of a single job that would work with what we've been coping with. There is a lot of horrific stuff happening out there in the real world. All the more reason for me to take today to be Mom, to snuggle my sweet turning one next week jeeez boy closer while he lets me, to prioritize what is my singular priority; my family. The reason I am, the reason I do, the reason I work, the reason for everything. Sickness makes me prolific, it makes me introspective, it makes me crazy, it makes me appreciate the good times even more.

looking forward to some good stuff soon


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