Sometimes you get just what you need.

Between the neverending snow and seemingly everlasting illness we are at the end of our ropes. I'm pretty sure every person living in the Northeast is dreaming of May. YAY, more snow on Saturday! I've got a lot hats right now; the Mom hat, the work hat, the wife hat, half a housekeeper hat, half a chef hat. Just when I started to feel completely overwhelmed with all those hats and oh yeah, the neverending juggling with the snow days and sick and snow, just when I started thinking "can I beg for a 32 hour week?" today happened. It was a hard day, a day that really pushed me and I'm feeling rejuvenated.

Today I sat with a woman I have sat with many times before, but I'm quite sure she thought she was seeing me for the very first time. Her advanced illness prevented her from remembering all the times I've set up her CD player to play the hymns she still knows all the words to. Her mind kept her from recognizing what I hope is a kind smile and warm hands. I could see in her eyes there was was no real recall, but it did not stop me from being with her, holding her hand, stroking her hair gently, reminding her that she was not alone that I was there and it was going to be ok. I didn't really know if it would be, but it felt like the right thing to tell her. She was vocalizing repeatedly, breathing shallow breaths, and I thought it wouldn't be long.When I left the room to make some calls to family she was worse, trying to get out of bed. I knew my place was by her side and when her daughter arrived I offered her support, explained things as best I could and retreated back into the wallpaper giving them the privacy and space to say a proper goodbye.

I haven't heard yet if her other daughter made it there. I haven't received word that she is gone, but there is nothing about this morning and those three hours I would take back. This work is important. This work is special. This work is amazing. I've still had enough with the snow and sick, but I know 150% that this is where I should be and that hat is worth wearing everyday of the week.

1 comment:

  1. You are amazing. I think it takes a very special person to do that kind of work.