safe to be silly

I watch her in the rearview; studying her smile, her expressions, her enthusiastic singing voice. She sings with a careless confidence I haven't had since I was 8 singing my heart out in our downstairs bathroom with the good echo. I announced to my mother I was absolutely sure I was going to be the next Tiffany. She assured me that this would not be the case and that the singing portion of my First Communion would not in fact be my big break  I'm sure my singing has not improved much since then, but I'm still a car singer. Steve sang (badly) the very first time I drove with him and he did not care that I was staring at him screaching away in the driver's seat. In this way she is like both her parents.

"Fee, Fi, Fiddly, Eye-Oh. Fee, Fi, Fiddly, Eye-Oh. Fee, Fi, Fiddly, EYE-OH, strumming on the old banjo."

Her mouths strains to form the loud "OH." She is serious and claps along. Her brother Maggie Simpsoning his paci, gripping his silky blanket tighter, staring at her in wonderment, admiration or confusion? It's hard to say.

She makes up songs as she flits around the house about whatever she happens to be doing at that moment. "Spray the table, wash the germs away, wash, wash, wash, spray, spray, spray." When she realizes she's caught she is inevitably startled, embarassed, laughing hearty belly laughs at her silliness. I laugh right along, sing along when I can follow the odd nonsensical lyrics.

I want her to always have this confidence, this lack of awareness at the judgement of others. I know it won't last, it couldn't, but I hope at home she can always be silly, be confident, be herself.

1 comment:

  1. Tiffany!! I have found memories of using my hairbrush as a microphone and singing along to that tape (and I just realized that my daughter has no idea what a cassette tape is... or was). Not ashamed to say that I have "Could've Been" on my iPod playlist.

    When are those "after" pictures pictures of the dining room going to be up?