I'm not going to lie. I have a bit of a lead foot at times. I drive for a living these days. I spend a lot of time in a car. Some afternoons I meander around without a care in the world, taking my time, enjoying the breaks between visits listening to satellite radio or Pandora. I spend equal parts of that time laughing at Howard Stern and feeling my blood pressure rise hearing Dr. Laura tell another mother that when they had a baby they gave up the right to work. I can't get enough, every afternoon I'm right there rolling my eyes as she introduces herself as "my kids mom." Other days, I spend most of the time in the car on the phone; managing my cases, troubleshooting things with nurses, supporting my colleagues, planning the next work day. Some days are easy as pie, others make me want to stick a fork into my eye.

Connor was sick all weekend. He was Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde and my heart broke for him. He wanted to race after Caroline, but his body just couldn't keep up. We are now in the no Motrin zone for his tubes next Wednesday and as much as we knew it would kick that fever out of him so much more effectively than the acetominophen, I couldn't bring myself to jeopardize those tubes. I don't think his fever broke until last night when he woke up clammy at 2:30. Since Friday night. He stayed home with Kiki today, which was so unbelievably helpful and wonderful. I called the pedi and set up an appointment for him at 11:50. While I was there, I decided to tack Caroline onto the visit to check on a persistent and junky cough she has had for a couple weeks. Why not? I am a crazy woman.

Exhibit A:

My day initially entailed a visit in Quincy, South Boston and Somerville. This day was a logistical nightmare because I also needed to go to the office in Waltham to pick up supplies for a patient.

8:30 visit in Quincy. Cancels while I am en route - 8:28
Sit in bumper to bumper traffic all the way to the 93/95 split in Canton
Contact appointment in Somerville who mercifully requests me to visit on Wednesday instead. There is a God.
Arrive at office in Waltham to pick up supplies -9:45
Run into a nurse who wants to case conference a case that should not even be mine. (an entirely different post)
Leave office to bring supplies to patient in South Boston - 10:05
Arrive in South Boston - 10:35
Drop supplies off, but find patient to be in pain and sporting a shiny new bedsore. Call nurse. Provide Support.
En Route to pick Caroline at daycare  - 11:02
Pick Caroline up at daycare - 11:25
Leave daycare at - 11:30
Get pulled over en route to pediatrician where my mother in law is waiting with Connor - 11:35
Arrive at pediatrician's office - 11:45

Yes, I got pulled over. I have never been pulled over before in my life. I was listening to Caroline tell me about her day as we drove back roads to the doctor, watching the clock, asking her to please eat her sandwich, handing her back a water bottle, a napkin, a book.

I knew I was done as soon as I pulled over the hill. I tapped my breaks, but it was hardly even worth it. I saw his brake lights go on as I approached and I watched him turn the lights on as I went by. In all the times I have avoided this scenario, I never imagined I would have been this calm about it, but I was. I got out my license, my registration. I imagined my phone call to Steve. He had caught me in a small 25mph section of a mostly 35mph road going 40. I had no idea it was 25 there until today, neither did Steve. I didn't tear up, I didn't get angry. I was in such a state of acceptance that I calmly said, "I'm sorry, I'm sure I must have been going a bit too fast. I wasn't even thinking about it. I just picked up my daughter at school and we are on the way to meet my mother in law at the doctor with my sick son." He asked me where I was going, testing me. He tapped my car door, "My son is sick too." He was thinking about it. He related to me. He saw that I wasn't feeding him a line. I had my daughter with me. I was just a mom trying to get to her sick kid. He let me go.

Caroline asked me why the man stopped us. Nothing is more embarassing than having to tell your kid that you were going too fast. I didn't slow down today until Connor finally settled back to sleep on my chest after many failed attempts. I typed my notes, completed my work, watched my two kids rest the afternoon away.

It was worth the rushing. It would have almost been worth the ticket. Almost. I hope that cop's kid gets better soon.


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