and I think I know who it is, by the way.

It's a bit alarming how quickly you can become a "Mama Bear." I've been posting about my anger and frustration on Facebook and Twitter about Connor getting scratched at school. To clarify, he looked like this after the second incident, perpetrated by the same little girl who is half his size.

Looks more like he was attacked by a not so friendly housecat, but no, it was a little girl in his classroom who literally must have dug her nails into his face, not simply swatted at him as you might expect from someone her age.  I picked him up from school Thursday after getting a call early in the day that there had been an incident at school. Don't we all just love those calls? I was told he had somehow ended up with another child's shoe and had refused to give it back, laying his entire body on top of the shoe. This did not go over well with the little person who earlier in the week gave him the mark above his lip and a scratch on his neck for not getting out of her way as she tried to crawl through a tunnel. He pushes it a bit, I see it at home, but it is normal behavior for a toddler boy to test his world, to seek out reactions, to learn cause and effect. I have never heard of this scratching stuff before.

I ran into a Mom of one of his classmate's in the parking lot at drop off this morning and when she saw Connor, we got to talking. Her adorable petite little girl had also been scratched. On her her eyelid. I was fuming. I marched into Room 3 and told the teachers in the room that it was not ok, that I was very upset, that I needed to know the details of the behavior plan. The teachers just happened to be the same ones who were there when he had been scratched the day before and one of them, who has known Connor since he started at this school, shook her head, took him from my arms and gave me a look that showed me I had been a bit harsh. There are nine children between 15 and 24 months in this room and I know that even with shadowing, there will always be an opportunity for this to happen. It's not one to one care, it couldn't ever be. He will never be 100% safe from this happening again and I can't fault his wonderful caregivers who truly adore him.

I lingered over my morning coloring with Caroline and her classmates. Farms for everyone, complete with animals, fences, apples trees, silos. I was dreading the meeting, afraid I would over or under react, afraid of what it might be like to be on the other side of this unfortunate situation. How devastating as a parent to dread picking your child up because they had hurt a child, again.

We had a nice chat. I understand her perspective. I know they have plans in place. I know it isn't a one to one care situation. I know that without giving this family a chance to make this better, she will just go to another center where this will happen again and she will get passed along and it will never get better. I want to give the family this opportunity, as a parent, I want to be understanding. And yet, I cannot bear to think of this happening again.

Connor's petite friend got scratched again this afternoon on her neck. The family was to get a "final warning" this afternoon. Connor had spent the day in room 5, free from the risk of another scratch. Our hope is that they can break up the dynamic between the kids as often as space allows. He won't technically move up to Room 5 until he is 24 months, but he really does well in the classroom. I'm not asking them to move him...yet.

He spent the entire day in that room today without his bink. He didn't even ask for it. TOOK A NAP WITHOUT IT. So I looked at his teacher, the one who had been so upset that this is happening, the one who told me when no one else was around, "don't back down" and I told her, "I'm doing it. Tonight." FELL ASLEEP TONIGHT WITHOUT IT, much grousing, some whining, but he did NOT ASK FOR IT ONCE. I know that might be the source of his acting out, his pushing button behavior with little miss freak out. I get it, but I refuse to let her presence deter this process. I'm planning on phasing that bink out by the time Steve gets home on Sunday. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. We are BINK FREE.


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