Lil' kicker

I just this moment signed Connor up to be a bunny at the national Lil' Kicker Academy program. We have one just down the road and they have sessions starting at 18 months. The photos online are adorable, little kids in matching Lil' Kicker jerseys racing around, climbing under things and kicking balls of course. I'll figure out a way to get Connor there for an hour this weekend for a free trial and if he seems to enjoy it, and I cannot imagine he wouldn't with all the running and kicking, we'll hop right into this session (har, har).

There have been lots of conversations about sports, kicking, using up some of this endless energy, getting him involved in a sport to further encourage his development, and on and on. Steve is charged with locating hockey equipment for Caroline's learn to hockey that starts at the end of the month. There have been many discussions about that too.

I worry. I know she is listening intently to every word and hearing all our "wow, Connor, he loves to kick. Look at him throw. Isn't he incredible????" We talked about it this weekend, Steve and I, about how she is hearing this and watching it, and we need to tread lightly.

I've been encouraging them to kick together, to play catch, to make it less about something mom and dad do just with Connor, but something we can compliment them on doing together, "good teamwork, excellent sharing, nice kicks guys!" It's a challenging road ahead with this and all other things they will each do. Artistic and academic accomplishments, social skills, behavior, setting a good example, being responsible, not being lazy. They will each listen to our cheers and jeers and soak it all up. It's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of overwhelming pressure.

She is asking more about letters now. Last night she lay on me just before bed looking across the room and read the letters on a piece of art. She asked me to name the ones she does not yet know and I clapped for each correct letter and at the end she smiled so proudly. Now there is something her brother can't do yet and I breathed a sigh of relief. Something that is just hers. When she went to bed I plucked my contacts from my eyes and looked at my reflection. How is that I am a mother to a nearly 5 year old, who hears and sees everything, who understands things I never thought she would be old enough to grasp, who asks critical questions, who can compare and contrast? You think your role will be never-ending, lifelong responsibility, care, and concern. You know that you will not always be mom with omnipotent power. Sure there are less diapers to change over time, but my role seems to be increasing in importance as Caroline reaches school age (gulp). I feel a growing responsibility to them and that feels strange because in so many other ways the day to day is so much easier now than it was even 6 months ago. The day to day is more predictable, it's the other stuff, the stuff that seems more important that is growing and creeping up on us.

I know how we play this sport card is going to shape these kids in their perceptions of many things, not just sports. The kicking is just a metaphor for a pile of other stuff behind it, and that pile is a bit scary to look at, let alone try to fold up and put away in a drawer. I don't even know how to begin to organize it, break it down, stow it away.

1 comment:

  1. Just like all the other things, day by day.