and then he showed me the picture of him and Jack Parker

Work is blowing up in my face. Again. Yesterday I was so worked up that I sent Steve a text, "I really need to talk to you." I knew he had a meeting at 10:00, but didn't expect it to still be going on at 1:30. He had to excuse himself, "my wife isn't very needy, so this must be important." I'm being TOLD, not asked, to make yet another concession, to stretch myself even more, and I am putting my foot down. The line in the sand is drawn and I'm calmer about it today, but still seething away below the surface. My attitude about my work was piss poor yesterday and that makes me sad because I care about my patients and their families and they deserve my best. They don't deserve a bitter, pissed off grump.

I visited a family in Brighton who I've only just met. It's another family who has connections to Steve's grandfather. One of my patient's son took some trips about 20 years ago with Dr. Grand McCashew and it was fun to establish a connection between them, sending word through Papa and getting word back. The patient had taken a turn, had taken to bed, the Nurse was questioning if she was transitioning, and she had not been comfortable having a conversation with the sons that this might actually be transition. I talked in hypotheticals, what ifs, reinforcing taking it day by day, reminding them that if their goal was to keep her home we would do all we can to make that happen, encouraging them to keep an open dialogue with us. We were in the dining room amid walls of photos from decades gone by - she is 104 after all, born in 1907, a century before my daughter. A century.

Photos faded from time and touch, and then the OTHER son showed me the picture of him and Jack Parker playing High School hockey together. "Great guy." I snorted. I couldn't help it. I reminded him, I was a McCashew, by marriage a Jerry York fan, by college education a Husky, and not exactly Parker's biggest fan. He pulled out his ticket to the BC/BU Hockey game tonight and said, "Did the Huskies or Jerry York send you a ticket, cause Jack sent me one." Well played. well played indeed.


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