and then

Day two brought swimming, a whole wardrobe change just because, pizza making, soccer playing, and her first "warm and fuzzy." What's a warm and fuzzy you ask? It's little pom pom, with feet and glasses and a streamer with the camp name that campers achieve for being brave, trying something new, being a good friend etc. They said, "if your child comes home with a warm and fuzzy, you can be sure it was a very special day for them." Caroline reported she got her for being good and being friendly and helping a friend who was sad. I'm proud.

It's been a bit of a struggle still to get the details and steve is struggling more than I am about knowing, or actually not knowing, how her day has been. It's good prep for school. There won't be a daily sheet about what she learned, how she behaved, if she ate lunch. I'm supposed to get a call from the division leader this week about how things are going. It is reassuring to know that if it wasnt swell, we would have heard by now.

I think we would have heard.

There is a lot of jealously right now. Connor didn't have a name tag to wear this week, or camp stories to share, he didn't go swimming, and he won't go fishing today. The kids were wrestling a bit last night and he bit her, on her face, and left her with a red mark just under her eye. He went immediately go bed, but I took note. I need to be better about asking what he learned today, how many paper airplanes he flew, who sat next to him at lunch.

This morning we stepped back beyond day one. There were not only tears, but also loud painful sobs. "this is the hard part!" The bus counselor took her hand and her backpack and I watched her drive away again, tear stained face and all. I jumped when my phone rang ten minutes later. It was camp and my heart sank. "it's camp calling to let you know that Caroline is already smiling and dancing."

To show just how much this new routine is affecting me too, I submit a short ditty we'll call "connor's choice." We left beloved g'raffe at school yesterday, just plum forgot him. I put tiger in his place this morning, just in case the giraffe was not in his school cubby. You should have seen Connor holding tiger so he could see out the car window when we got to school, showing him all the rooms, telling him which one was his cubby. There was g'raffe, left alone in his cubby, and Connor had to choose which friend would stay the day. He chose tiger and a little bit of me died because g'raffe has always been with us. He was caroline's before he was connor's and I just cannot handle another kid milestone moment this week.


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